Systemic coaching

Since – in the future – the past is always present; we live going on forward, but understand things backward. This is why it is important that you look at yourself from a wider perspective. However, in order to find yourself, you must first discover the four fields constituting the whole:
Mental, body, energy, and soul field.
All four fields through which we act, experience, feel, and communicate conscientiously or unconsciously represent the four-leaf clover. We all dream of a balance of some sort and it is, of course, not always easy and simple to maintain it.
All four fields impact and complement one another. The trick is to know in the process which field you need to impact to create harmony in all the other ones.
Discover what it is that you need to do and which field you may start from.

Is it the external triggers, the environment, people that cause a misbalance in your clover of happiness or does the trigger come from inside?

Systemic oriented coaching follows the flow of the energy in every field, strengthening the client, freeing them from their stories and support them to stand in the truth of the current situation, the current reality.
This approach was developed in an attempt to support the growth of an individual, leadership and organizational vitality in all kinds of systems, whether private, public or global corporate systems.

Mental Field
To change the way of thinking and acting and to create new, motivating patterns, you need to awake the unconscientious programs taking place in the mental field. The NLP techniques are the best method for that.
To enhance your mental immunity, you need to free yourself of all limiting beliefs and ask yourself whether it is time to create new values.
This is why, when you invest in yourself, in your personal and professional development, the changes will be long-lasting only if you look at yourself from another, wider frame. The systemic approach allows for redirecting the focus from the behavior to the entire systemic dynamics that is constantly vibrating and is in a process.

Body Field
You live in your body and, therefore, it is not enough to merely renovate the façade and to hide from the outside what you go through inside. That home requires complete care.
Everything happening in our head is processed, filtered, and demonstrated by our body. This is why physical activity is of high importance.

What do you feed your home with?

Remember that every thought you send to your brain will be eaten by it and all the food that you give your body will also be eaten.
It is by looking at the body that we may recognize our mental processes. The body unmistakably points to what our internal dialogue is like, how we cope with ourselves, how we transform our emotions, and how we face the challenges coming from the environment.
Every part of our body is in constant contact with all of our thoughts, with all the information we receive through our senses. The body reacts to every stimulus, whether caused by us or by the environment.
All these sensations are information from the mental, energy or soul field.
In the course of a day, we need moments at which we can “put our head down in our stomach”, i.e. to feel ourselves. To achieve this feeling and to create awareness of the sensations that we feel, it is only silence and conscious breathing that can help. In the silence, all our mental noise appears. We can calm down this mental noise by dissociating from the sensations and through conscious breathing.

I breathe therefore I exist!
Through breathing, we connect with ourselves, with the nature around us, and with everything surrounding us. Breathing is the evidence of our existence and our being a part of the whole. Breathing reminds us that there is the present moment. Everything is vibration and has its own rhythm. Your breathing is your unique rhythm of living.
Everyday detoxification of the body through breathing is an excellent way of cleansing one’s body and mind and of releasing the creative energy that will refresh you, make you younger, and fill you with positive energy.
Your entire process of change, whether you invest in your personal and/or professional development, needs to be supported by physical activity, conscious breathing, and moments of silence.

Energy Field
Your perception of time and the way you express and use the emotions are your personal choice.
Life is an emotion! Everything you do in life, you do to please or avoid a feeling, an emotion. Emotions are the only driving force that – whether you are or are not aware of it – manages your life.
Emotions are the same for all of us, irrespectively of which part of the world we live in. The difference is in the manner in which we cope with them. Every emotion is as it is and is by no means incidental.
The more important question is – what to do with it? Do we oppose, negate or suppress it or do we accept, feel, and transform it? Emotions are given to us to feel, not to ignore. They are our roadmap. The challenge is in the fact that we associate with them most of the time. Transformation takes place when we succeed in dissociating ourselves from the emotion and look at the event from another perspective.
The ability of an individual to recognize their emotions and the emotions of the others, to label them correctly, and to use this emotional information to direct their thinking and behavior is referred to as emotional intelligence, i.e. self-awareness.
How aware and skillful are you to separate the emotion from the behavior and to put that in a wider frame?
Simply put, your power lies at the moment between the feeling and the thought.
The sooner you master bringing the area between the feeling and the thought to your awareness, the easier will you be able to be present in the present moment and to make a choice as to how you will behave and act.
The energy field also manages the perception of time.
The most frequent excuse to not do something is Ï do not have the time”! The way in which we experience time is a choice and this choice is never incidentally made. Life challenges, events, and happenings create our perception of time.
How we face the fact that life has some timeframe depends on our attitude towards life and death. This attitude is also linked to the survival strategy. Initially, we have accepted it from our parents.
We all have 24 hours at our disposal. Some people have time for everything, and some are in this constant race with time. The difference is that the former invests, and the latter waste their time!
When you know exactly what the result you want to achieve is, then you know what to invest your time and energy in, too. When you are focused, aware, and know where you are going, then there is no more sense in “wasting” time and energy on something not yielding the result expected.

Soul Field
In addition to the mental body, and energy field, the soul one is also important. There is something more than the body and mind, something that connects use and influences all other fields.
All the intertwined dynamics dragging through all our lives and making us what we arise out of the family systems.
If we want to create a change, it is not enough that we only focus on the behavior or on the emotions, or to do something with our body; instead, we need to look at ourselves from another perspective, as well.
The systemic approach, linked to the Neuro Linguistic Programming, provides another dimension in coping with the unconscious processes. Discovering and resolving the unconscious patterns in the family relations may bring about significant change in the perception, behavior, and actions of every individual.
The impact of these systemic, family connections is of high importance and should not be neglected.
The only thing that travels through these systems, through all the fields, through the timeless dimension, is the emotion.
Belonging is one of the deepest human needs. It is the core, i.e. the thing that connects all of the leaves of the four-leaf clover. The yearning to be seen and accepted, i.e. to belong, simmers in you.
If this yearning is not satisfied, you will always be looking for a way to fill in this emptiness, for something that will satisfy your sense of belongingness. In this search for belongingness, in order to survive, you create various behavior and coping strategies. A large portion of those strategies is limiting. The sense of belongingness creates motivation, desire for growth and contribution and, of course, loyalty. It is of the highest importance that you become aware of whether loyalty limits or inspires and motivates you.
Loyalty establishes the balance of giving and taking. It is primarily for the depth, intensity, and quality of life. Therefore, the biggest challenge is to be connected, but not tied!
Being tied to something or someone causes a feeling of guilt, expectations, and limiting loyalty.
Being connected to someone or something creates a feeling of freedom.
Bringing the feeling of belongingness and being a part of the whole to awareness may create large changes, not only in yourselves, but also in the environment in which you act. Changes are reflected in: the way you behave, in your abilities, believes and values, your identity and, certainly, your mission and vision. Then, life gets another meaning.
The question is: “How to remain a human being?”
We cannot survive on our own. We need other people to be human. A human being is a human being through another human being. Therefore, create healthy relations and always have systemic consciousness.
The Earth is given to us, but we alone create the world!

Marina Anchevska
About Marina Anchevska 1 Article
Marina Anchevska, BSc is a CEO of the Center for Business Psychology, Internationally accredited NLP Trainer, Business and Personal Coach, Motivational and Conference speaker, Holistic therapist, Yoga teacher and Writer. She is the leading woman's voice for personal development in Macedonia and positive game changer in people's life and business. Marina is one of the awarders of best woman managers for 2016 in Macedonia.

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