A few weeks ago, one of my peers, in a supervision session shared his frustration: some of his clients often postponed scheduled sessions. He felt torn between being “too flexible” and wondering what would happen if he simply said « no ». On one hand, he wanted to set boundaries, on the other, he truly believed his role was to serve the client and, if time was available, to reschedule.
As our conversation unfolded, we touched on the real issue: contracting.
When I asked him, “What did you agree at the start of the relationship?”, his answer was unclear. He mentioned that rescheduling was possible with 24 hours’ notice, but then admitted: “I had no formal contract.”
This short exchange highlights a wider reality: many difficulties in coaching, mentoring, or supervision do not come from a lack of skills, but from a lack of clarity in the initial agreement.
The role of contracting
Every professional relationship begins with some form of agreement. Whether light or formal, oral or written. Yet, many professionals overlook this step or rush through it. Others take time to build a fine-tuned, detailed agreement, trusting that clarity at the beginning will strengthen the relationship.
Contracting is not just a box to tick at the start of a partnership. It is a living process that sets the conditions for collaboration and can be revisited whenever needed. Done well, it creates a safe, structured spacewhere confidential, true and authentic conversations can unfold.
Contract or Agreement ?
Are they the same ? Are they different ? Not quite.
A contract often sounds formal, rigid. Like a one-way document handed to the client to sign, without much regard for who they are. An agreement, acknowledges the personal and psychological dimension of the relationship. It ensures the client is heared, respected and considered.
Both parts, practionner and professional (coach, mentor or supervisor) say « yes » to the terms, not as a formality but as a mutual commitment. The agreement is not only written between the two, it is also built within each of them. It makes the relationship human, unique, and tailored to the individuals involved.
An agreement is a state of being that is co-created by both parts, between them and within each of them.
In my supervisor’s practice, I have observed that when confusion, dissatisfaction, or breakdown of trust arise, they are often linked to weak or missing contracting.
A clear, co-created agreement prevents misunderstandings, reduces frustrations, and allows both sides to work in a safe, warm, and constructive space where trust enables authentic conversations.
Beyond the Paper
Of course, contracing includes confidentiality, non judgement, trust, and practical details such as timing, fees, or cancellation policies. But co-creating the agreement goes beyond the paper. Its deeper function is to reflect on what the relationship needs in order to be successful, meaningful and ethical.
As Abraham Lincoln said, « give me six hours to chop down a tree and I’ll spend the first four sharpening the axe »
Co-creating the agreement equals to co-create the foundation of the relationship. Co-creating the agreement takes time. And taking time for this conversation:
- Provides clarity and structure
- Builds trust and psychological safety
- Strengthens engagement and accountability
- Reinforces respect and equality
- Signals that the client truly matters
Open Questions make this process alive:
« What would you like to see happen in that space? »
« How do you want our relationship to look like ? »
« What is important for you ? »
Words such as confidentiality, trust, respect, openness, encouragement, listening may sounds obvious. But naming them explicitly and reflecting on them together helps both sides feel secured and reassured.
Each relationship is unique, and so is each agreement. What matters most is that it is co-created with time, patience, and no rush.
Readiness and Safety for a « good enough » relationship
Co-creating the agreement is also about readiness. Clients need time and courage to face challenges. A clear agreement reassures them, helps them prepare, and establishes equality and respect in the relationship.
As professionals we too need to feel ready. Before each session, it is worth taking a moment to breathe and ask ourselves:
- How am I feeling today?
- Is there anything that might interfere with my presence?
- Am I truly available for this session?
These simple questions help us clear our own space. Shared with clients, they can also become an invitation to openness and authenticity.
A relationship that is “good enough” requires clients to feel secure and valued. Without safety, deeper work cannot happen.
What to Include in the Agreement
A well-crafted agreement covers several dimensions :
- Practical aspects: when and where to meet, duration, fees, cancellations, endings.
- Roles and responsibilities: who is accountable for. What, and readiness for reflective work.
- Relational factors: expectations, safety, limits
- Personal factors: whether the process feels comfortable and respectful psychologically and emotionally.
- Structural factors: goals, methods, process, ethics and how to work together.
Reflective questions such as:
- Who do you want me to be with you in this journey?
- Who do you want to be with me in this journey ?
- What would be acceptable or unacceptable?
- Whet are you ready for in this journey ?
allow both to shape the atmosphere and rhythm of their work together. They also make space for diversity of perspectives, experiences, and emotions.
A Journey Together
Co-creating the agreement, is like preparing for a journey. The preparation itself shapes the experience. The more carefully you prepare, the more trust, safety, and freedom you will have along the way.
In my own practice, I always give time to this step. I truly believe in slowing down. The more time we dedicate to co-creating the agreement, the stronger is the relationship, the clearer are the goals, and the greater is the client’s satisfaction.
It is also important to always remember that an agreement is not fixed once and for all. Circumstances evolve, needs shift, and both professionnal and client may change over time. Revisiting the agreement along the way ensures it remains alive, ethical, and relevant.
Final Reflection
So my invitation is simple:
Reflect on the way you contract or rather, how you co-create the agreement with your client.
Ask yourself whether it truly create clarity, safety, and trust.
Consider how much time you dedicate to this stage, and whether it mirrors the respect and care you want to offer your client.
A well-crafted, co-creative agreement is not just an administrative step. It is the foundation of a meaningful, ethical and successful coaching, mentoring, or supervision relationship. By co-creating it with open-mind, open-heart and care, you are telling your client: « You matter. »
And from there, the journey can truly begin.
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